Facing a life-altering surgery such as mastectomy is never going to be easy, let’s face it.
Regardless of your age, your breasts have been a big part of your sexual identity, nurtured your children, and/or given your partner much delight (and hopefully you as well). If you are facing mastectomy because of breast cancer, the thought of losing one or both breasts is no doubt a huge shock.
There are many resources out there for you to help you make your decision – and more than a few on this website – but the purpose of today’s article is to share with you the merits of having a “breast wake” should you decide to go forward with mastectomy.
What is a Breast Wake?
The traditional wake, held when someone died, involved family members or friends who stayed awake with the body of the deceased to watch or guard it and/or have a prayer vigil until it was time for the church funeral and/or burial.
According to Wikipedia, a wake is often a social rite which highlights the idea that the loss is one of a social group and affects that group as a whole.
Why should the loss of a breast be any different? I have a friend who held a wake for a much-beloved dog. I really think that this kind of loss should be noted, either before or after the event, but preferable before and here’s why.
Why Have A Breast Wake?
When you have gathered your family and friends together to mourn the loss of your breast(s), this is an exceptional time to ask each of them to help you with that process, in some small way while you are recovering and even possibly after treatments begin (if any).
Whether it be cooking you a healthy meal and bringing it over, or just taking out your garbage, or occasionally scrubbing the sink, you will be surprised to discover how many people actually want to help you and are willing to do just that. And you will need their help at some point, I promise you.
Mourning the loss of a breast doesn’t have to be a solemn occasion. Put someone else in charge of all of this – your best friend, for example – if you don’t feel up to it. Pull the carpets back and dance if you want to. Have some great, healthy food with your friends and family. Cry and laugh with them. Propose a toast to your breast(s) and have others do the same. Serve cupcakes that look like breasts.
Instead of having a guest book where people list their names, have a blank book for people to write in – a few of their favorite inspirational quotes (ask them to bring them along when you invite them) because at some point during this journey you will feel overwhelmed, scared and depressed. Having a book like this to delve into can help you through these difficult times.
With regard to the people who offer to help you, either you or a friend with good handwriting can write down the name and phone number of each person who offers help, along with what it was they offered to do. Don’t be afraid to call them either!
Please do mark the occasion because it will help you in so many ways. It will help your friends too.
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