The Best Chance to Heal Yourself – Own It


The Best Chance to Heal Yourself

I’m seeing a trend with breast cancer patients that worries me a bit.  To put it bluntly, I think that it’s misguided to put your entire healing process totally in the hands of your medical team.  That gives them all the power and none for yourself and that does NOT give you the best chance to heal yourself.

Your medical team, no matter how highly esteemed or how accomplished, function largely in the role of body mechanics.  They are trained in terms of body.  They can operate on you, they can prescribe a treatment strategy, but they are not responsible for your life or your health!

You are.

Nobody can get well for you.  You have to do it for yourself.

I think it’s wonderful to select a medical team in whom you have a great degree of confidence.  That’s important to do.

But once they are in place, your attention must also focus on the role of mind and spirit in this journey with cancer.

You are a totality of body, mind and soul – to ignore the other aspects and focus only on the body I believe is a mistake.

What Helped Me

I sought out a psychotherapist to help me with stress levels, I went to a person who taught me something called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to deal with my negative thoughts about cancer, my husband and I did some relationship counseling, we learned to meditate from a group of Buddhist monks — I did all this to give my body and my mind and my spirit a chance to heal.  These things might not work for you, but I would encourage you to find the things that DO work for you.

Honestly, I felt so good after taking care of all the emotional baggage – so much lighter and like I wanted to take on the world.  For me, that’s when true healing began to take place.

So empower yourself.  Do what you need to do to get beyond this – and be the beautiful spirit I know you can be.  You deserve it and the world needs your healing.  Now, more than ever.

If you’d like to stay connected, sign up for my free e-newsletters on the right, or “like” me on Facebook ( and I’ll do my utmost to keep you informed and empowered on your healing journey.

Love Yourself – It’s the Most Important Thing to Do

I don’t know if it’s just me or what, but it seems like a lot of the breast cancer patients I’ve spoken to lately are really struggling with a very simple concept, that of loving themselves.

Anthony Powell once said “Self-love seems so often unrequited.”  For many, a lack of self-love has left a hole inside their spirit and how can one heal with that going on?

I think that love is the most significant thing in human life.  Why is it so hard for us to love ourselves?

Often, I believe it goes back to those messages received from parents during very young, formative years.  We might have heard “I wasn’t planning to have another child when you came along”, or “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”  Such statements can be so damaging and can set our unconscious minds to thinking we are not worthy of love.

God’s Reset Button

For me, having cancer was simply a matter of  my inner healer saying “Pay attention!  You’ve been stressing about everything lately.  I’m going to make you hurt a little right now so you will wake up and get back on your path.”

Dr Bernie Siegel calls pain and suffering “God’s re-set button”.  I like that.  Going through a life-threatening disease like cancer is sometimes the only way we will make the necessary changes.

Getting Some Help

There are some self-love exercises that various mind-body medicine teachers suggest, for instance, stand in front of a mirror every morning and look yourself in the eyes and say “I love you” and mean it.  Sounds like a good place to start.

You can also join a support group focused on self-love and healing.

From what I’ve learned about the mind and body, though, we need to delve deeper to change those long-standing beliefs because our subconscious mind is controlling the show.  You can consciously decide to start loving yourself but if your subconscious mind believes you are not worthy of love or that you are useless, no amount of positive affirmations is going to change that deep seated belief.

One good therapeutic method is hypnosis,which is when a hypnotherapist induces a trance state in a patient whereby relaxation and heightened imagination or visualization can help bring about some real changes in beliefs.  There are some very helpful YouTube videos (I like Steve G Jones and a site called

Another method is neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) which is a method of retraining the brain – it’s difficult to describe it more fully than that.  If I had to choose between hypnosis and NLP, I believe I’d choose hypnosis, it has more research behind it and is generally employed by board certified psychiatrists.

Why Loving Yourself is Important

Vast quantities of research has been done on healing and why people don’t heal like they should and what researchers have found is that if people can be brought to love themselves, they heal not only psychologically but also physically.  Love comes from our deepest essence, when we feel love it becomes a whole body experience and true healing can take place.

According to, “Self-love is the great healer. It purifies and fortifies your body, mind, and spirit. It makes you stronger and softer. Self-love is magnetic: when you love yourself, you draw other self-loving people into your life.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”

If you’d like to stay connected, sign up for my free e-newsletters on the right, or “like” me on Facebook ( and I’ll do my utmost to keep you informed and empowered on your healing journey.

The Healing Power of The Kiss

The Healing Power of the Kiss

I came across an interesting statistic today that fired up my imagination: I read that a kiss stimulates 34 muscles and lots of hormones and chemicals known as neurotransmitters.

So I decided to investigate.  According to researcher Dr Andrew Scholey (wouldn’t you love to be a kiss researcher?  what fun!) senior lecturer in psychology at Northumbria University, the reason kissing feels so nice is because of the disproportionately large area of the brain dedicated to lip and tongue movements. He stated that “Only finger or hand movements occupy as much brain space.”

Apparently, a multitude of changes is going on in our bodies when we kiss – here’s the breakdown.

The Electric Moment

The moment your lips meet is often described as electric, and apparently that’s exactly what it is.  Studies using electrodes on people’s lips during a kiss showed electric currents flowing along the nerves from the brain to all of the 34 facial muscles. Hence, those tingly sensations!

A Flood of Hormones and Neurotransmitters

Kissing stimulates the primitive part of the brain involved in automated functions (the four Fs: feeding, fighting, flight and, um, mating).  “As you kiss, signals received by nerve endings in the lips are sent to the limbic system, which releases hormones that tell the pituitary glands to produce gonadotrophin.  This hormone attaches itself to the ovaries, causing the release of estrogen and testosterone, which increase sexual excitement,” says Dr Scholey.

Another hormone released at this point is oxytocin (which is also secreted during breastfeeding and orgasm, and promotes caring feelings towards your partner or baby – sometimes referred to as the “bonding” hormone).

Your growing excitement causes a rise in the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline and adrenaline causes blood to switch from the stomach to the limbs, ready for fight or flight and turning off digestion.  As your heart rate increases, blood rushes to the surface, making your body warmer and creating a rosy glow!  It also causes your whole body to receive more oxygen than it does when you’re just standing around.  At rest, your heart beats about 60 to 80 times a minute, but mid-kiss this accelerates to over 100 (unless of course you’re kissing your mother…).

As adrenaline increases, levels of the feel-good chemical serotonin fall – this keeps you focused and less likely to want to break off to go feed the cat.  As serotonin drops, so do your inhibitions, making you more impulsive.

Once your kiss reaches its peak, your body is working overtime – it makes you feel nice by releasing the neurotransmitter dopamine into the brain, which intensifies your desire.

That light-headed feeling is from the release of endorphins, the brain’s natural opium-like substances.  Endorphins produce the euphoria most people feel during a good kiss – they make us go all gooey.  Do you ever wonder why you feel better after a long run, a good laugh or a great kiss? It comes from a release of endorphins.

So – wow!  More oxygen (always a good thing), dopamine and endorphins that make you feel good.  I think we should incorporate kissing into our healing plan – what do you think, girls?

If you’d like to stay connected, sign up for my free e-newsletters on the right, or “like” me on Facebook ( and I’ll do my utmost to keep you informed and empowered on your healing journey.

The Incredible Gift of Gratitude

incredible gift of gratitude

Image Source: and Felixco

The Incredible Gift of Gratitude

I don’t know about you, but I don’t wake up every day thinking it’s going to be a great day.  Some days, I am just not feelin’ the love!  In fact, some days, more than anything I just want want to hide out under my sheets.  Fortunately, that doesn’t happen to me very often.  When it does, though, I usually go to my shelf of inspirational books and find one that resonates with me on that day.

Which is how I came to today’s topic: Gratitude.  The book I picked up was “Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  It’s one of my favorite books and often helps me to get out of an undesirable place in my head.  I was feeling trapped in a place of lack – you know what I mean, that place where you hunger for more (whether it be more money, more love, more peace, more work…).  The book offered me this bit of advice and I wish to share it with you today.

When we surrender our desire for MORE of whatever it is we are wishing for and begin to be grateful for whatever we have and truly appreciate all of our blessings, we are really opening our eyes to what’s around us.

It helps to make an inventory of your life’s assets: your work, your health, your partner, your friends, your pets, a roof over your head, the food on the table.  Think about how each blesses your life.  Grow your list from there: the flowers in your garden, the way chocolate melts on your tongue, or how the beach sand squeaks beneath your bare toes.  Once I traveled to a place where running water inside the home was a luxury most couldn’t afford, so I even include “running water” on my list of blessings!  Notice and appreciate each day’s gifts, then pause for a moment and give thanks for them.

Sarah Ban Breathnach reminds us: “Know that your personal net worth cannot possibly be determined by your bank account balance.  Be open to exchanging your need for emotional and financial security for serenity.”

May you feel the serenity and gratitude of this perfect day.

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